Chapter 4 - Gen 7 - Cello

I can't help but wander how Mom is doing, rattling around in that big house now all on her own.  Jazz and Melody are happily settled in Twinbrook while the rest of us are thousands of miles away living in Paradise Isle.  She is now totally alone after she's driven us all away, I know it's all her own fault that we've left her behind, but still I can't help but feel a little sorry for her, it can't be nice to be left by all three of her kids, not knowing when and if she is every going to see any of us again.

I know for a fact that Melody will be coming out here to join us after University, I don't know about Jazz, he's always so unpredictable, Mom's final stunt which forced Dad and Forrest to move into Gran's house, put the final nail in her coffin for all three of us, surprisingly even Jazz took Dad's side.

I haven't spoken to Mom myself, because I don't answer her calls, I can't bring myself to speak to her just yet, still being angry with her for what she's done to Jake mentally and all the lies shes fed us all of our life.  I was the one who made the final decision to leave and I know she's not happy with me either, I really can't be arsed with the argument I know we'll be having .... I have enough troubles on my mind right now without her adding to them.

It's at times like this that make me think about Mom and after everything I do miss her, she is my Mom after all regardless of whatever she's done.  She used to do all the cooking, she loved to cook and spent hours doing it, which makes me wander why she never taught any of us to?!  I can't cook a thing and I'm too hungry to wait for my Grandmother to get up and cook us breakfast, even if these pancakes that I've just cremated don't look very appetizing.

Mom is not the only person I miss, I can't help wandering what Chad is doing all the time, what he's thinking and how he's feeling - his silence is killing me, I thought he might have phoned me by now and I really don't have the guts to phone him.  He's rattling around in my head all the time to the point where I can't concentrate and since we arrived here three weeks ago, I've done nothing but mope around the place.

I'm sat watching the ocean as I pick at the pancakes, suddenly I don't feel so hungry anymore, my head is a thousand miles away which is where I wished I was right now.

Brady:  "You are up early!!" I look up and see my Granddad pulling out a chair, a plate of my awful pancakes in his hand
Cello:  "I couldn't sleep."
Brady:  "You cooked these I take it!"  he's laughing as he takes his seat and starts eating while I carry on staring out at the ocean.  "Your Dad's worrying about you Cello, and so am I!!"
Cello:  "Why?  I'm fine!!"
Brady:  "Are you sure, because we don't think you are - you've been very quiet since you got here, staying in the house all the time and moping about, hardly eating or sleeping - maybe you should tell us what's wrong!!"  he looks over the top of his glasses at me
Cello:  "Nothings wrong!!"
Brady:  "You know if it's your Grandmother who is bother you ... I know she can be very irritating and annoying with all her constant moaning ... just ignore her ... I do!!"  he smiled at me  "Are you missing your Mother?"
Cello:  "It's not Grandma, and yes I do miss Mom a little, but not too much because I'm still angry with her, and I'm okay honestly!!"
Brady:  "So, Jessie or Chad? - which one is it that's making you mope about the place like a lost love sick puppy?"  he asked suddenly, I just sit there staring at him, shocked that I've been sussed, am I really making it that obvious?  "Your Dad's right isn't he - he thinks your moping over either Jessie or Chad!!"
Cello:  "Look, I don't want to talk about it!!  I'll get over it eventually ... so it's nothing you or Dad need to worry yourselves about!!"
Brady:  "Fine, if you don't want to talk to me about it, maybe you ought to talk to your Dad at least, like I said he's worrying about you." he says as my Grandmother pulls out a chair and puts a plate down on the table.  Granddad has finished his pancakes while I've hardly touched mine, he gets up, smiles at my Grandmother and walks away without saying another word to me.

My Grandmother sits down and in her normal form she says nothing and just starts eating, there is never any pleasantries from her, the only time she ever seems to open her mouth is to critisize or moan about something.  She glances at me occassionally and there is an awkward silence between us, she makes me feel uncomfortable and I'm not sure why she always makes me feel this way.  I'm quite relieved when my Dad wanders out to join us.

Amber:  "Are you eating or playing with that food Cello?!"  she snaps at me like I'm a naughty child as Dad puts his plate down on the table and rolls his eyes at me then smiles.
Lyric:  "Morning ... you're up early Cello!" he says as he starts eating  "Got any plans for today?" he asks me but I just look up at him and shrug my shoulders because I have no plans other than probably spending another day in moping about and playing my guitar.

Amber:  "Lyric can I say something!!"  I watch Dad look up from his burnt pancakes at my Grandmother and roll his eyes again.
Lyric:  "Go on ... no doubt you'll say it anyway, even if I don't want you to!"
Amber:  "I am sick to death of watching you three boys walking around naked all the time!!"
Lyric:  "We are hardly naked!!"
Amber:  "No but you are hardly dressed either are you!!"  she tuts  "He has hardly worn any clothes since we got here"  she points her fork in my direction  "Do you really think I want to be looking at your naked bodies all the time!!"
Lyric:  "Well there is nothing stopping you leaving, I'm sure Cello would be quite happy to buy you a house on the other side of the island!!!"  this made me snigger which set Dad off, she just ignored the both of us.

Amber:  "It's disgusting - you won't see your Father walking around the house like that!!"
Lyric:  "No, only because you won't let him!!!  We are in Paradise Isles for Berry's sake - everyone here walks around half naked - and we should be able to dress how we want in OUR own home!!!"
Amber:  "Well in future I'd appreciate it if the three of you would start wearing more suitable clothing when I'm around!  I shouldn't have to look at so much naked flesh!!!"  Dad muttered  'whatever'  quite nastily but I couldn't resist, she's sat there preaching to us, but look at what she's wearing!!
Cello:  "That's quite a sexy number you've got on there yourself Gran!!"  Dad nearly chocked on his food
Amber:  "Lyric!!! ....... sort your son out!!!"

Forrest:  "What's up?"  Forrest says as he sits down and opens a book, a side smile on his face I think he already knows that Amber is moaning about something again, an oportunity he never likes to miss.
Lyric:  "Mom she's not happy - she's disgusted that we all walk around 'naked' all the time!!"  he smirks at Forrest
Amber:  "See and just like I said - here comes the other one - half naked, why am I not surprized!!"
Lyric:  "Oh shut up Mother, you are giving me a headache ... we've just got rid of one mental woman - how did I get myself saddled with another - Why? Oh Why? did I let my Dad talk me into this!?"
Forrest:  "Because you're a soft touch!!"  he looked up from his book towards my Grandmother and said quite innocently  "and I wasn't talking about his body or the way he touches me, before you even start!!" innocent my arse ... he knew exactly what he was doing.  I had to walk away, I'm howling with laughter, and all I can hear behind me is my Grandmother blowing her top at Forrest.

While she can be very irritating my Grandmother she actually causes a lot of amusement around the place, especially with Forrest, who is such a wind up merchant, and has made winding her up into a sport which he seems to gain a lot of pleasure from.

Amber:  "..... and who made these pancakes, they are absolutely disgusting!!"
Forrest and Dad both said at the same time  "Cello" "Cello"
Amber:  "We shouldn't have to eat this rubbish!!!"  she snaps "Lyric ... did you not teach that boy how to cook?!"
Lyric:  "No Mother, just like there was a LOT of things you didn't teach me!!"

We never imagined when we were making our plans to move that my Grandparents would end up coming with us.  Granddad close to retiring and with all their children grown up and getting on with their lives they wanted to do some travelling.  When they knew we were coming to Paradise Isle, they decided they wanted to come with us, this place apparently being a special place for them as this is where they came after their marriage break up to repair their relationship.  My Grandmother was even more insistant than Granddad, which Dad was quite confused with, the thought of her living with him again didn't seem to bother her as much as it bothered him.

My Grandparents amuze me, I couldn't imagine what there relationship is like behind closed doors, because there is never any public displays of affection between them other than the odd smile, they seem so different - the Loveable Nerd and the Ice Queen - that's what we used to call them when we were kids - and my opinion of them hasn't changed any since I've been living with them.  I love my Granddad to bits, but my Grandmother I just can't get my head around.

My Dad was really far from happy with the idea of them coming with us to start with, he would have said yes a hundred times over if it had just been his Dad but it wasn't, his Mother is his least favourite person and he definately didn't want to be living with her again.  Granddad Brady somehow managed to talk Dad around, so here she is, and she never stops criticizing or moaning about everything.

I decided to go out for a wander around the island, the last thing I'm in the mood for is Dad carrying onto me, no doubt Granddad will tell him the very first chance he gets, if he hasn't already, that I've kind of given myself away ... I'm so stupid ... why didn't I just deny it ... now I think they know what's wrong with me, Grandad had said it  'lost and love sick' .... they just don't know who.

I think I didn't realize myself until we actually got here, until I'd left it all behind, I knew I had feelings for Chad, I just didn't realize how deep they were, and now I'm suffering for it.  I know exactly what Dad would say if it was Jessie, he would tell me to get her on the next plane out here - somehow I just know he won't have the same attitude towards it being Chad!!  He normally wouldn't care if I chose to live a gay life,  but he will be angry with me saying I can do this heir thing when I knew I might feel this way about Chad, but I didn't know at the time leaving him behind was going to do this to me!!!.

Dad really is not going to be happy with me!!  I'm not looking forward to what he's going to say about it so trying to avoid him is the easier option.

I ended up on one of the beaches not far from home.  This island is quite amazing, it doesn't matter where you go on the island, there are not many places where you can't see the sea and beaches that surround the whole of the island and you can always hear the seagulls, and if you can't see the sea you can always hear it crashing up against the rocks.  It's the kind of place most people only dream about coming to, the kind of place where dream holidays are made - I'm lucky enough to live here, yet I can't find any enthusiasm for the place.

If my mind was clear I'd be in my element, out on the water, windsurfing and diving, but it's not clear, it's clogged up with Chad and I don't know how to get rid of him.

My phone starts ringing and I answer it without checking to see who it is, silly really because it could have been my Dad or my Mother, who I'm not ready to speak to yet.  Bad luck for me ... It was the last person that I needed to speak to right now.

Chad:  "Cello?"
Cello:  "Oh ... hiya Chad"
Chad:  "DON'T hiya Chad me like there's nothing wrong here!!! .... what the hell ....?"
Cello:  "What?!"
Chad:  "I'll tell you what .... YOU!!  You just up and left me, no notice, no warning, moved to berry knows where and without even telling me .... and you leave your Mother to do your dirty work!!   Well I never saw this one coming .... Nice one Cello!!!"
Cello:  "I'm sorry!!!  I didn't know how to tell you!"
Chad:  "You didn't even have the decency to dump me ...  well I take it I've been dumped seeing as you've done a runner on me and not left a forwarding address and your mother won't give me one, you couldn't be making it any more clearer ... I'm actually surprised you answered your phone to me ... well thank you Cello ... just rip my heart out while your at it why don't you!!"
Cello:  "Please Chad don't ...... don't make this harder than it already is .... this isn't easy for me you know,  don't think I want this, I don't .... and it's not that I don't want you to know where I am, my Mother doesn't even know where we are that's why she won't tell you, she doesn't know herself!!"
Chad:  "So where are you?"
Cello:  "Paradise Isle."
Chad:  "Why?  I don't get it ... what did I do??!!"
Cello:  "You didn't do anything ... I'm sorry, it's me ...."

Chad:  "I thought we had something, you and me, but obviously I was wrong!!"
Cello:  "We did ... We do ....."
Chad:  "Well you could have fooled me!!!  Obviously you can't feel the same way as I do or you'd never have gone, you'd have spoken to me, asked me to go with you, I don't know anything but just pack your bags and disappear without a trace the minute my backs turned ..."  I can hear his voice starting to crack  "So who is she or he? ... I knew I should never have trusted you after the Jess thing!!!!"
Cello:  "There is nobody else ... it's not like that at all!!!"
Chad:  "So you tell me what it is like  ..... because I'm struggling to understand why you'd just walk out on me like this!!??"
Cello:  "Look Chad I really am sorry ... I didn't want to walk out on you ... I didn't have a lot of choice, it's complicated ..."
Chad:  "So explain complicated Cello ... you owe me that much at least!!!"

Explaining complicated to him was not easy.  After telling him about all the crap with my Mother then what I have to do being the 7th generation Ugli heir, I tried to make him understand that it was for the best that I'd moved away, that he wasn't around to distract me from what I have to do and he would be hurt less by me this way.  It was better for the both of us this way.  I don't think he took it very well!!!

Cello:  "Can't you see it's for the best Chad ..... you'll wake up one day and be very relieved I'm not there, I'm not sure you've ever really been completely comfortable with your gay side ...."
Chad:  "My gay side??!!  Don't even go there trying to twist it back at me ... I got over it didn't I, I came out into the open with it didn't I and upset my family for you .... after everything we've done together I can't believe you'd say that  .... I got past that and you know it!!" 
Cello:  "I'm sorry ....."
Chad:  "You knew ... you knew about this heir thing all along didn't you!? ... You've just been playing with me like you've played with everyone else!!  Why even start letting things get serious with us if you knew it could never go anywhere?!  You've played me good and proper!!!"
Cello:  "I wasn't playing with you Chad ... I ... I love you!"
Chad:  "Like hell do you Love me!!!  You know what Cello ... forget it!!!  I won't be bothering you again, you've made it pretty clear its over .... you get on with your 'complicated' and I hope you have a HORRIBLE life without me .... because you deserve it!!!!"

He cut me off - the phone on the other end went dead.

I tried to call him back but his phone just switched straight onto voice mail.

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a good song for this chapter "Everything but Me ~ Daughtry"  if you are going to listen to it look at the second picture down - this is where his head is at!
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of course - for my grave collection and to keep the family tree intact, Amber and Brady had to come along on Cello's adventure.  And guess who's in love already!!!  This is so going to make this generation nothing like how I imagined it would be!!